Old spoiler

So we start with a shot of the Horror Dragon, which, a handy perspective panel informs us, is fucking huge. A curious gremlin gets a bit too close to the Jason-head, and the Jason-head chomps down and swallows the little bugger, causing a fresh tombstone to pop out of its back with the word "GREMLIN" carved on it.

"It's growing more graves like zits all over its back!" Maka exclaims.

"Gimme, give it to me, I want it..." Noah mumbles. "Everything in this world belongs to me. When I own everything then I will become the new ruler. I will become a true god."

Kid is making an excellent bitch, please face. Aaaaaand we have another flashback to Grandpa Goo Monster reminding Kid that there's some douchebag out there trying to become the new ruler in a panel that is totally excessive given that we just went over this umpteen million times in the previous chapter. Aren't you the shinigami destined to bear the burden of the next era? Grandpa Goo Monster asks Kid.

"I am a shinigami," Kid says.

"?" Noah is inexplicably baffled by this statement. For some reason. Um.

I thought that Noah knew that?

"And your way of ruling is unacceptable, Noah!!" Kid shouts. "Everything in the entire world, you said? 'Everything' meaning all of this and all of that and absolutely everything under the sun? If that's truly what you mean, then it's no different from the ultimate symmetry that I mistakenly tried to create! What sort of aesthetic is there in 'everything'?! An aesthetic without discrimination has no beauty!! What this world needs is balance. Yes, a beautiful balance just like perfect symmetry. And you are unworthy of being a ruler of this world!!"

Maka orally molests some ellipses. "So he sounds like a god after all... Giving speeches about things that humans can't understand..."

Er, I think he can be understood just fine. Maybe Maka's just having a blonde moment? Meh, I'll give her a pass on this one, she just lost a lot of blood and she's probably not thinking too smart.

Yeah and Kid's not done yet, either. "I'll show you how I rule my beautiful world. If you can survive this."

Noah is just going to stand there and let Kid attack him, I guess. Like Stein and Marie and Sid just stood there and let Noah attack them two chapters ago.

Why are all of the adults in this manga so stupid?

Because Ohkubo's poorly-executed, poorly-choreographed fight scenes require them to be. In short: Because bad writing, that's why.

"Liz... Patti," Kid says. "For always staying by my side until now, I thank you. And from now on I will have to rely on you still, so please..."

"Wh... What the hell, Kid?" Liz says, blushing. "Why so formal all of a sudden?!"

"You dun need to ask us!" Patti says.

"And all of you..." Kid says, looking at the rest of the Spartoi. "I'm going to take out the big one. But I need all of your power, too. Sensei-tachi, please stand back and watch."

Meanwhile, Noah is just standing there and waiting for them to attack. The Horror Dragon is just sitting there and waiting for them to attack. Sid and Stein are smiling and WHAT THE FUCK TEZCA IS DEAD WHAT THE HELL DO THEY HAVE TO SMILE ABOUT and Marie and Nygus aren't even important enough to be shown in this buddy-buddy moment (what, are they still knocked out?) and Enrique is still M.I.A.

"Let's go," Kid says. And then they finally attack the Horror Dragon. Which I guess is the Horror Dragon's cue to finally attack them.

Four pages later, the fight is still going on. Maka saves Blair from being chomped by a dragon head. "Thank you, Maka..." Blair says.

"No matter how much my injuries may slow me down, at least I can still protect my pet cat," Maka says.

Kid, who I guess has been just standing back and watching this whole time, finally decides to get off his skinny ass and blow some dragon up. "Liz, Patti. Soul Resonance. Death Penalty Enforcement Mode, Acquisition!"

"Wavelength circuitry connection... All clear. Resonance at equilibrium. Noise 2.8%."

"This wavelength is...?!" Liz says.

"Something that is no longer necessary to me," Kid responds.

"Coffin Construction," he says. And then screams a lot.

"First, second Lines of Sanzu connected---"

"Beginning rotation."

And look, it's the return of a plot thread from the Baba Yaga arc! Big Daddy's face suddenly cracks down one side. "Shinigami-sama...!!" Spirit exclaims.

Meanwhile, back in San Diego: " 'Seven Rays' charge completed."

Wait, is this going where I think it's going?

I cannot rely on Father's seven rays forever.

Ohkubo, I think I love you.

"Releasing coffins."

I'll start right away with the final certain kill technique!

Oh finally, somebody is actually fighting smart in this goddamn battle. Also, wait for it, wait for it....

"PARENTS' SEVEN RAYS!"








lmfao







Oh, that is glorious.

One dead Horror Dragon later, Kid is glaring at Noah. "It's over, Noah."

Noah laughs as the seven rays converge upon him. "HA HA HA HA HA! It's all mine! Even this light too! All mine!" Noah's hat finally blows off his head. "Everything belongs to me."

"Go ahead and take it," Kid says. "That is God's light."

And so he does.

Oh, Noah. Perhaps that snazzy cap actually was the source of his powers after all. Just like Msr. Peter Ludlow, Noah was completely fine dicking around in enemy territory and pissing off powerful gods until the moment that his snazzy cap was taken off his head, whereupon he was promptly pwned by a baby T-Rex.

Snazzy caps: Don't underestimate their fearsome powers.

"We did it..." Maka says. "Noah's soul wavelength is completely gone..."

So, uh, did Noah just not leave behind a soul for anybody to munch on, or what? Seriously, what's up with that?

Meanwhile, inside the book, Index notices too. "So Noah has died..."

Meanwhile, back at Shibusen, Ox reports. "Kid has been safely recovered... And it seems as though Noah was destroyed."

"Welcome home, Kid!" Jackie says.

But I guess that was jumping the gun a bit, because instead of Kid popping out of the copy of the Book of Eibon, the book instead bursts into flames.

"The copy of the Book of Eibon... is burning..." somebody wearing the Captain Exposition Hat explains.

Meanwhile, back in San Diego: Gopher is in shock. "It... It can't be... Noah-sama---..."

Maka looks down at the Book of Eibon. "This book...!"

YES, THAT IS THE REAL BOOK OF EIBON

YES, YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING CONFUSED ABOUT?!

STOP STARING AT THE DAMN THING AND PICK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE

too late.

"This book..." Gopher snarls at Maka. "This Book of Eibon... It belongs to Noah-sama!"

"You!" Maka exclaims.

"You bastards!" Gopher emoticon-faces at them. "I'll never forgive any of you for this!!"

Aaaaaaand he's off. "Wait!!" Maka shouts ineffectually at him.

Kid looks pissed off. "And the Brew was still inside that book, too..."

SO GO AFTER HIM ALREADY

I MEAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE

YOU CAN FLY, YOU IDIOT

Jesus skateboarding Christ this entire chapter has been filled with nothing but characters standing around like idiots and letting other people get away with speechifying/powering up/attacking/stealing the Book of Eibon without ever once trying to lift a finger to stop any of the aforementioned from happening.

Remember back when Noah fought Mosquito, how Noah was actually smart enough to nuke Mosquito the moment that Mosquito started to power up in order to, you know, prevent that from happening? Yeah. And yet here Noah was in this chapter, just standing there and doing absolutely nothing while Kid took a good five pages to slowly power up. Noah didn't even send a worm to nuke Kid, not a single worm. Heck, Noah probably could have asked the Horror Dragon to stomp on Kid at any time during that powerup but no, of course not, that would have made too much sense.

Remember back when Kid fought Mosquito and even though he was severely injured and exhausted after the battle he still chased Mosquito down just so that he could finish the battle? Yeah. And yet here Kid is, just standing there and letting Gopher get away with the Brew. Way to be a future ruler, failass!

And next we have the obligatory scene where Maka suddenly collapses from her wounds and Soul has to catch her. "If you keep ignoring your wounds then it'll be just like Noah beat you anyway!" Soul chastizes her. Aaaaand that was a helluva awkward line to translate but literally it was something like if you keep ignoring your wounds then the result will be as if the tables had turned on us which doesn't sound very natural in English but meh, I think we all understand what Soul is trying to say.

Meanwhile, back in Nevada: "Are you all right, Shinigami-sama...?"

"It seems as though Kid was able to connect up to two Lines of Sanzu," Shinigami-sama says, telling us what we already know instead of anything that we actually want to know. Also, note: Although it's hard to tell, on page 188 it shows that Kid has finally shed his power-up outfit and it appears as though his Lines of Sanzu are disconnected, too. So there still hasn't been a permanent connection made.

"... It does seem that way, yes," Spirit responds.

"It also appears as though Justin-kun knew the location of the kishin..."

"Where the hell could he be...?" Spirit ponders.

Also, Tezca may or may not be dead. Apparently this fact is unworthy of comment from either Big Daddy or Big Daddy's Big Pointy Stick.

Meanwhile!

ASURA


And clowns.

"So this is where Kishin-sama is," Justin says.

OH NO THAT'S NOT A COMPLETELY CONSPICUOUS HIDING SPOT AT ALL. Cripes.

Everybody. In. This. Manga. Is. An. Idiot.

Oh Lord God... Oh...

Oh Lord God is right.

I wonder if we're ever going to find out what Noah did with the Brew back ten chapters ago? Or is that just another plot thread that's been abandoned?

Where the hell is Enrique?

Whatever happened to Ohkubo's ability to choreograph a fight scene?

Why are Liz and Patti still the only characters among the main eight who haven't had a single Crowning Moment of Awesome even after eighty-one chapters? Why did Ohkubo build up Patti's ability to fight solo with Liz and then never give her a chance to do so?

Why didn't Noah fight back? Why didn't Marie or Stein ever fight back, either?

How/when did Noah find out the location of the kishin, and why would he be stupid enough to tell Justin that?

I dunno. I need a drink.

I'm sitting here raising my glass to next month. May the next story arc not suck, may Soul Eater Not! be full of puppies and rainbows and awesome, and may Liz and Patti someday get to actually do something before this goddamn series ends!